This was the subject line of an interesting email I received on March 6, 2008. The sending address came through as "Alquaeda - WorldNetwork (info@alquaeda.net)". Interestingly enough, though, they prefered replies sent to xxxxxxx.killer@gmail.com. Hmmmm.
This same email has been described on other
websites as well. I found it rather amusing, for the same reasons many
other people did, but I'll start with the full text, in all its
spelling, formatting, and mathematical glory:
I am very sorry for you XXXXXXXX, is a pity that this is how your life is going to end, as soon as you don't comply. As you can see introduction is of no importance to you as I don't have any business with you, my duty as I am mailing you now is just to KILL you I have already been paid for that. Someone you call a friend wants you Dead by all means, and the person have spent a lot of money on this, the person also came to us and told me that he wanted you dead and he provided us with your name ,picture and other necessary information's we need about you. So I sent my boys to track you down and they have carried out the necessary spy needed for the operation on you, but I told them not to kill you yet that I will like to contact you and see if your life is Important to you or not since their findings shows that you are innocent. I called my client back and ask him of your email address which I didn't tell him what I wanted to do with it and he gave it to me and I am using it to contact you now. As I am writing to you now my men are monitoring you and they are telling me everything about you. Just to let you know that am not joking Now do you want to LIVE OR DIE?. Get back to me now if you are ready to pay some fees to spare your life, $9,000 is all you need to spend You will first of all pay $4,500 then I will send a tape to you which i recorded every discussion i had with the person who want you dead and as soon as you get the tape, you will pay the remaining $3,500. If you are not ready for my help, then I will carry on with my job straight-up. WARNING: DO NOT THINK OF CONTACTING THE POLICE OR EVEN TELLING ANYONE BECAUSE I WILL KNOW.REMEMBER, SOMEONE WHO KNOWS YOU VERY WELL WANT YOU DEAD! I WILL EXTEND IT TO YOUR FAMILY, INCASE I NOTICE SOMETHING FUNNY.DO NOT COME OUT ONCE IT IS 7:PM UNTIL I MAKE OUT TIME TO SEE YOU AND GIVE YOU THE TAPE OF MY DISCUSSION WITH THE PERSON WHO WANT YOU DEAD THEN YOU CAN USE IT TO TAKE ANY LEGAL ACTION. GOOD LUCK AS I AWAIT YOUR REPLY xxxxxxx.killer@gmail.com
Probably the first interesting bit is that apparently this xxxxxxx.killer@gmail.com person doesn't seem to know the name of the person he is supposed to kill. It arrived in my box with the name as XXXXXXXX (that's 8 X's - his email address uses 7). But that's not where the entertaining part ends.
It is also interesting that apparently this supposed hitman doesn't work alone. He claims to have several of his "boys" spying on me - though he doesn't say where. Thats an impressive operation for a hit job - why would a hitman want that many people to know that he's about to commit murder?
Though probably the most interesting part is the math. We see that the hitman asks for $9,000 to spare your (my) life. But then we see he wants a down payment of $4,500, followed by an additional $3,500. Of course we all know that $4,500 + $3,500 is only $8,000, not $9,000 as requested.
I almost forgot to mention that I decided to try replying to this brain surgeon, just for my own amusement. Much to my surprise, I have yet to receive a response to my reply. Oh well, I guess I could use a vacation anyways...